Where I'm At

So as I was writing up my training program for the week, I realized a few things. I have been working extremely hard at training for this half ironman. I can't believe how much I have pushed myself, and how dedicated I am to this. Although it has been very grueling, I want to work at this.

I set this goal, of completing a Half Ironman (key word, completing) back in September. I didn't know it would be so much work, or take such a big time commitment on my part, but I set this goal. September of last year, I had just finished my second sprint triathlon, and finished first in my age group. I was flying high, and thought that I could achieve anything.

I guess I should reveal something extremely personal. I am afraid of failure. Now, this might not seem like that big of a fear, but this is what motivates me, sometimes too motivating for me. The fear of failure, has been magnified by doing this training. I have always used this fear of failure to motivate me in school, and in life. I do not want to disappoint anyone for my failures. So in turn I would push myself to keep working harder, nothing was and is ever good enough. Now you might be thinking, "Oh Kristen, you are wonderful and a hard worker, don't put yourself down!" This isn't the case, it is just a realize I came to during my training. As painful as it is to see that I have put so much pressure on myself to "succeed", whatever that means, I have a least recognized it. I am willing to recognize this fear of failure, and everything that goes along with it, in order to relax a little and enjoy life more.

So here is another week of intense training.

Recovery Week

So I have made it through 4 weeks (well almost 4 weeks) of triathlon training. It has been a rough and rocky 4 weeks. I had a few minutes before I have to head into work, and wanted to just comment about the journey this has been already.

I'm sure you could tell by my last post that I was getting tired of working out. Working out had become a chore for me, and I didn't enjoy it. That is never a good thing, well at least for me.

This week something in my attitude changed. My workouts don't seem like a chore, they are at least fun. This might have something to do with the fact that the amount of exercise required for this week is reduced. I was able to get 60 minutes of biking and running in yesterday on my break, and it felt so good. I am usually able to get 45 minutes, 50 tops. However, I was able to start my workout earlier than normal. I spent 20 minutes on the bike. Hopped off, ran for 20 minutes, and then got back on the bike to round out my hour. While on the bike the second time around, I was envisioning what the Half Ironman would be like...

Imagining coming out of the water, and entering Transition 1 with a smile on my face.
Ripping part of my wet suit off on the run towards my transition area.
Standing on my towel while I finish peeling my wet suit off.
Fastening my helmet securely on my head.
Wiping my feet off enough to put my above the ankle socks on,
latching my race belt, so my number is behind me.
Lifting my bike off the rack, and running towards the end of the transition area.
Feeling myself clip my bike shoes into the pedals,
the sun is shining warmly on my back as I feel strong entering the bike course.
I can do this!

I read an article about believing in the goals, or resolutions you have set for yourself. Taking a small part of your day to envision yourself feeling strong on race day. This small part of your day can be before you get out of bed in the morning, right before you fall asleep at night, taking a shower after you are finished with a workout, or while you are preparing for your race in your day to day exercises. I challenge you to try this, even if you are not training for a triathlon. Envision yourself delivering a speech, or turning in the final draft of your book you have been working on. Try it, it is such an empowering and uplifting practice that makes you feel like you can go out and conquer the world.

Have a healthy Friday!

So Long

It has been forever since I have blogged. I have been very overwhelmed with my training. It got to a point where I had a minor break down on Monday night. I drove home with tears in my eyes because I felt like my training was preventing me from hanging out with my friends or even talking to them on the phone. I also got to a point where I felt I had so many rules surrounding this training, that I tried to break all of them, namely eating healthy. Consequently my training suffered because I ate a bunch of crap and didn't feel strong working out Sunday.

So I am back in the game, still feeling bruised from the break down on Monday, but I am confident I can do this. Yes, my training takes a lot of time out of my day, but I can do it. At least my training program is nice in the sense I can play around with what I do from day to do. I am still exercising 6 times a week, but if I want to bike instead of swim and run today I can do that.

This weekend I will be traveling to Louisville, KY to see my friends and celebrate my roommate's (from college) birthday. I am really excited to see everyone. I just need to figure out when I am going to do my 2 hour cycle that day. I think I am going to split it up and do 1.5 hours before work, and 30 minutes on my break.

I hope to post more frequently because I have taken a part in the blog writing at work. Although my writing skills are not the greatest, I do want to continue to work on them. What better way to do it! Speaking of work, I should start to head that way.

Have a healthy day everyone!