From Monday, I will have 16 weeks to prepare. My training program that I am using is from Matt Fitzgerald, Triathlete Magazine: Essential Week-By-Week Training Guide. There are 10 levels to choose from. I have decided to choose a level that allows me to work hard, but to just complete the Half Ironman. Although I love competing, and not to brag but did well last season in my Sprint Triathlons, I don't think I am trying to break any records. Secretly, in the back of my head, I know I am going to push it, and hope for something great. Here is a link to the book on Amazon.com
Now that everything is set, except for the payment, I am nervous. I never thought I would be doing this. I just continue to push myself to do things I never thought in a million years I would do. I am nervous about training, about competing, and about the actual race. I should be filled with excitement, but I am just nervous now. I am worried I won't be able to do it. I am nervous of failing.
I am scared of failing. I don't know what actually defines failing in this sense, but I am scared that if I don't go through with this race, I will be a failure. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been worried of failing. Talk to my 5th grade teacher, I think she helped to strengthen this fear of failure.
Fears aside, I know I will do great with the triathlon. If I do not complete the race, I will at least be in better shape than I am currently, and learn a little something more about myself. Up to this point I have succeeded greatly in every challenge I have put myself up to. I am actually quite overwhelmed with how much I accomplished in 2009. I am sure in a few weeks, the fear will subside, and the anticipation and excitement will settle in.
Here's to my biggest challenge in 2010!!!